To shoot or not to shoot... That is the question...

So here we are again, back after a hiatus. 

And this time I'm really not pleased.

Can we all agree that the question of more/less guns is a symptom?  That the idea of gun control or gun laws or reduction of gun control or reduction of gun laws is more like a band-aid?  We seem to have this problem a lot in this country.  We'll instantly come up with a thousand ways to treat the symptom, but ignore the overall cause.

"Hey doc, my mouth hurts when I go like this!"

"Well, stop doing that!"

Ok, great, but what's causing the pain in the first place?  Is there an underlying condition?  Lack of care?  Lack of proper structure to begin with?  Some foreign object/body?  Lots of questions to clarify what's really going on.

But instead of asking questions, the answer seems to be more along the lines of "Take two of these and we'll bill your insurance in the morning."

School shootings have become a thing that is on our collective conscience more and more of late.  They are becoming regular enough to not be big news until the body count gets high enough.

I find this unacceptable.

I find this offensive.

I find the only thing that makes these worse is the idea that the "Solution" is to bring more guns to the table.

I'm also bothered by the idea that the "Solution" is to vilify and ban guns entirely.

This is a case of reality not fitting neatly with one particular approach/dogma/belief.

Personally, I own no guns.  There are zero guns in my house aside from an airsoft gun that is a throwback to when my stepson and I would goof around in the yard plinking targets.  However, I am not opposed to gun ownership.  I don't own a gun primarily because the cost is high enough that it isn't on the table right now.  Notice this has nothing to do with school shootings directly, or my belief as to whether or not to bring more guns into school settings.

The "Solution" to this problem that we're having, in my opinion, has nothing to do with guns.  In fact, it has so little to do with guns as to be virtually unrelated.

Also, if you're looking for the declaration that God is missing from schools and that's the real problem, you're reading the wrong blog.

The problem, as I see it, is a lack of involvement in daily life.  In all facets.  In all situations.  From all sides.

Parents are disengaged from their kids.  Kids are disengaged from their families.  Schools are disengaged from teaching all of the intangibles that used to be taken for granted as part of the school experience to worship at the altar of the almighty Test.  We, as a society, are always looking for what's next.  When it's over.  Are we there yet. How much longer. 

I say enough is enough.  Focus on the now. Experience life as you're living it, and stop looking at the clock. 

Parents, act like it.  Be a parent.  Be involved.  Be engaged.  Come up with a way to meet your child's needs without forgetting that long term needs and immediate needs may be in conflict.  Yes, your kid may be upset right now.  Maybe even making a scene.  But is it really better to get them to be quiet while simultaneously teaching them that they're the most IMPORTANT BEING IN THE UNIVERSE AND THEIR WANTS/DESIRES/DEMANDS MUST BE MET RIGHT NOW?????  I would like to see parents using effective strategies to teach their children patience, delayed gratification, and a sense of being a part of a community rather than being a wailing monster that has to get what it wants every time and right now.

Kids, live in the moment.  As children we are naturally equipped to have not a care in the world.  But through various forces we have been training kids more and more to watch the clock and look for the escape.  A student in the midst of an activity shouldn't feel compelled to ask when it's over, hopefully they're so engaged and enthralled with the experience that they don't even think to ponder the passage of time.  I would like to see kids being able to experience life to the fullest.  And I'd like to see them do it without relying on screens and technology.  The flashy, hyperactive pace of digital entertainment isn't doing anyone any favors.  Be in the now, and enjoy the now that you're in.

Schools (and by extension, those who make laws concerning schools) should be in the business of helping students become the most well-rounded, interested, interesting, thoughtful, kind, empathetic, passionate, motivated people they can.  We've strayed too far away from the path of treating each child like an individual rather than a number on a testing form.  We need to seek something closer to a path of enlightenment.  Something that helps kids learn to appreciate learning in whatever form it presents itself.  Teach kids that learning is an active process that they are in control of.  Learning isn't something that happens in school.  Learning is literally the entire world around all of us, and if we aren't paying attention we'll miss it and have it pass us by.  Learning is a lifelong process that never ends, and we're doing our level best as a society to make sure people are trying to cram that infinite process into a box that can be packaged and sold at a premium.

Why do we have so many problems with mass shootings? 

Because people are always willing to destroy what they don't value.

Thoughts that run through an elementary music teacher's head during the course of a day

Why does that child have a teddy bear in school?

Please don't put your fingers in your mouth/nose/ears.

Why can't you follow directions?

This meeting has nothing to do with me, can I please leave?

I'd rather be practicing.

Six years of college, two teaching degrees, ten years of experience, and I have to justify my program's existence why?

No really, this meeting could have been an email.

Why am I out of coffee?

I'm out of coffee, someone might die today.

Will I get fired for the faces I make when I haven't had enough coffee?

Please don't put that in your mouth.

Why is that in your mouth?

No, you cannot go to the principal's office to tell her something really important.

Why would you need to leave my class?

Because I said so, that's why.

Will I get fired for telling students my job is harder than their parents' jobs?

No really, reply all is not a good choice.

The Only Y Chromosome.....

This year is different.  In some ways better, in some ways worse, but different nonetheless.

I am the only male teacher in my building.

Let that sink in for a moment -

the only one.

Does it effect my teaching?

Nope.

Should it?

Don't think so.

Do people think it has some kind of significance?

Strangely, yes.

I don't know why, but people seem stuck on that.  Being the only male teacher in an elementary school is apparently newsworthy to some folks.  And I suppose at first that makes sense.  You're the only one of your kind, that is enough to be a big deal in some ways.

But let's back up.

What else am I that makes me the only one?

Music teacher.

I am the only music teacher in my building, and have been the entire time I've been at this school.

I am one of three teachers in my district who have this particular feature.  The interesting thing is that nobody seems to notice or care most of the time.  And let's be honest, this is a WAY bigger challenge than gender.  I'm the only man?  So what?  I can talk to my colleagues about all kinds of things, some school related and some not.

Want to talk music?  No way.  I am the only musician in my building with credentials beyond "I used to play..."  And in discussing things with other teachers, it's easy to spot the look of incomprehensible fear that I'm going to start talking about things they don't know anything about.

Kind of like me sitting in a staff meeting, really.

The biggest challenge as part of this?

I am the only one to fight for my program.

I've been spoiled, most of the time I've had a principal who was a musician herself, so she would go to bat for all kinds of things that I never had to deal with directly.  It was great - I didn't have to explain or justify or beg or demand or deflect.  She took care of me.

Now, I have a principal with absolutely zero arts background, and it's a bit more difficult. I find myself fighting battles over things that she doesn't readily understand due largely to a lack of awareness.  I'm taking it upon myself to educate and explain and garner support every chance that I get.

The interesting thing?  I think it's possible to bring my non-arts principal around to seeing a lot of things from my perspective.

Try doing that with seeing things from my perspective as the only male teacher at my school.

(And yes, I managed to make this entire entry without a joke about leaving the toilet seat up.  Except that one. Darn.)

Don't die on me, d*mmit!

So this past school year (and the second half of the year before) I decided that blogging wasn't really going to be my thing anymore.  Clearly I couldn't keep up with it, and clearly I was lagging in making updates and writing interesting and witty things.

Fast forward to today.

It occurs to me that if nothing else I need a space to explain some things that are available for the greater good.  My Teachers Pay Teachers store needs to be expounded upon, as does some of the ideas I have for my classroom, and if nothing else I'd like to have some sort of space to think out loud and see my ideas from another perspective.  So that's what I'm going to be doing.

In many ways, this is nothing new - I've been somewhat using this blog for those purposes all along.  In other ways, I'll be curious to see what (if any) sparks of inspiration can be gained from what seems to be a blog without readership.

If there's anyone out there, care to leave a comment?

Bueller?



Also, look back here soon to see an explanation of my brand spanking new 2107-2018 Planner of Awesome!

Midyear check in!

Oh, you sad, neglected blog.

At the beginning of this year, I posted my professional goals.  I intended to use that as a springboard to document the various things I did this year to meet those goals.  This implies that I would be posting more frequently.  Sadly, this has not been the case.  Something about working 4 jobs and always having to be somewhere does not lend itself to writing blog posts.  Such is life.

Back to those professional goals, though.  I've actually done some things with them.

First of all, I tackled my file cabinet as intended.  I now have my one functional file drawer organized in a useful manner. The first section is for emergency sub plans and procedures, with a laminated set of class lists, just in case.  The great thing about this is that if something comes up and I am not able to be at school unexpectedly (which means something along the lines of... a bear attack, I suppose?), there are enough plans and activities in that drawer (and in the office) to keep my classes busy for several days (while my limbs are reattached, I suppose).  I also tossed the old paperwork that was serving no purpose. Honestly, I don't know why it took 5 years to scrap the fundraising paperwork from 2009, but apparently it did.  I also organized my IEP/504/Medical Alert folders so they were clear and consistent and easier to access, put my copy masters together, and rearranged a few other categories as well.

Essentially, I feel like I started using a file cabinet like a grown-up.  Now if only I had a hanging frame for more than one drawer....

What you can't see is the frustration caused by trying to file things that have no place to be filed.  Argh.

The two middle drawers still have my pool noodle rhythm pieces, I need to find a time to use those again soon.

The bottom drawer is mostly sound-related stuff - microphones, cables, microphone boxes, etc. Some day I will go back through this and make sure everything in that drawer is organized, too.  But not today.

Second goal - organization of my table/desk space and mailboxes!

I am not going to show a picture of these.  They're currently a big jumbled mess.  This is partly due to just having a concert last night, and partly due to me being a mess when it comes to organization.  In some ways the switch to a smaller table has helped.  It frees up a little space in the room, and limits the surface area that is able to be cluttered.  In other ways, it didn't make a difference.  I still find myself with piles, I still end up perching things precariously next to my laptop, and sometimes that is a recipe for disaster.  However, thanks to the laws of physics, those piles are a bit smaller than they had been.

Yes, please.  But not the chair. It looks uncomfortable.

The mailboxes have worked great so far, especially since I have not done my usual routine with student folders.  I need to get on those folders, since my mailboxes are pretty much filled with student work.  I also have some things stacked on top of those boxes, but not as badly as it has been in the past.  Baby steps, I suppose.

Also, I ended up taking a large shipping label, measuring and marking out the small pieces I needed, and cutting them out and attaching them to the small binder clips to make labels for each class.  I think it looks pretty darn good, especially since my handwriting is a bit suspect at times.

Third - the hot rod music cart!  So having a PVC tube with drum sticks in it has been useful.  The problem I have run into is that zip ties and smooth PVC aren't exactly the most secure means of attachment.  What has happened is that one zip tie has slid off, which caused the whole thing to tilt.  The good news is that makes the opening point toward me when I stand at the cart.  The bad news is it also flops around and sticks out kind of awkwardly.  What I think I will do is drill a couple small holes in the side of the pipe, then lag bolt it to the cart to hold it in position at a slight angle.  Every now and then when I (or a student) move the cart those sticks will catch on something.  Not a huge problem, but fairly annoying.  Also, I don't like my slick cart looking kind of ghetto.

Fourth - greater student independence.  This is definitely a work in progress, but I have in many ways increased the things I have students do on their own exponentially.  Sometimes I still have to spell things out in ridiculously literal terms, but most of the time I can give a direction and set the kids to it.  It usually works out as planned, but not always.  One of the most helpful things in this area is definitely the use of band and strings students as helpers in general music. These are the kids who spend the most time in my room, so they are the most familiar with things.  They're also less likely to do silly things that they shouldn't, so I am able to trust them with more responsibility.  One more reason parents should encourage their kids to learn an instrument.


I have a confession to make.  It's terrible, yet funny all at the same time.

Thankfully, this is not my confession.

Funny.  But not mine.

One of my ongoing goals is to become more organized, to keep ahead of messes, to avoid creating piles, etc.

I had a student a few days ago ask why my room was so messy.

I kind of hung my head and mumbled "...I know..."

The good news is that I had it mostly sorted out with a couple days.  The bad news is that the struggle is very real and continues.  However, for my two remaining professional development credits I plan on taking a course on practical classroom organization strategies.  Hopefully if the course is structured like I understand it to be it will be a better resource than looking at music ed blogs and Pinterest.  If not, I'll at least have two credits out of it and my room won't be any worse organizationally.

If you have a great organization system, would you be so kind as to share it?  I feel that all teachers can benefit from the ideas of others, especially in our own personal area of weakness.

Until next time, keep up that good work, folks!

Professional Goals For This Year

Happy New School Year!

I am currently waiting to begin our open house in a few hours.  We will get to meet new families, see new faces, and see families and students that we have known for years.  I am excited to get a new, fresh start to the year, and there are a lot of things I will try to improve from previous years.

First and foremost, my main goal for this year is to finally be organized for more than the first few weeks of the year.  Sometime this week I will tackle my file cabinet.  I am dreading that, as it hasn't been cleaned out since I started at this school.

Looks so peaceful and inoffensive from the outside....

EEEEEEEEK!  So... much... unnecessary.... junk..........

 Last year I switched from  my teacher desk to a round table in the hopes that I could keep that better organized.  That ended up proving to be hopeless.  This year I have switched from the round table to a trapezoid table that is about half the size.  Less surface area means less clutter, right?  I plan on using my mailbox organizer to better effect throughout the school year, using it to stage copies for each class rather than hold random sets of papers that may or may not ever be needed again.  I've even added binder clips to the front of each slot to use for labels.  Now I just have to find tiny labels that will fit the tiny binder clips.

My hot rod music cart is still in service, and continues to evolve.  This year's evolution involves zip-tying my PVC drumstick caddy on one leg.  I am hopeful that keeping those sticks close will encourage my percussionists to stop losing them.

I have rearranged my word wall, though it still needs some tweaking.  Now everything is visible from anywhere in the room, and I hope to be able to use the various word wall categories to greater effect.  It's bugging me that a couple of them are a  little crooked, so I know what I'll be doing shortly.

So here it is. My classroom in all its almost-organized glory.  You can see where my girlfriend made her mark on the chalkboards, and the old piano waiting to be taken away, you might even be able to see the leak stains on the ceiling if you look closely.

Another of my professional goals for the year is to foster greater student independence.  I have pencils and other writing items set where students can easily get them.  I have placed my classroom rhythm instruments in open bins at the front of the room to make them easier to get to.  I plan on assigning students to be passer-outers for these items to help free me up and foster smoother transitions.  I am hopeful that anything I can do to encourage students to be more procedurally independent will lend itself to them being more independent in other areas as well.  Which as a music teacher really means I'm trying one more sneaky way to encourage kids to practice at home.

We all have our cross to bear.

My third goal for the year is to be more open to spontaneous performance opportunities and to schedule more opportunities for students to perform for each other and for me.  My girlfriend gave me a small lectern and folding chair, so I have them set up in the corner to use as a performance spot. I'm thinking that I will give students the chance at least once a month to perform something for their classmates, whether it is singing, playing an instrument, or some other kind of performance.  I think I may finally be getting past my feeling of not having enough time for that or not wanting kids to get up in front of their classmates and waste our time with a "performance" that is really just a chance to be in the spotlight doing nothing.  I'm still working out the logistics on this, so I would love to hear ideas and suggestions.

So that's it for now!  I am entering my 8th year of teaching this year, and feel like every year gets easier in some ways and more difficult in others.  I plan to be the best music teacher I can be this year, and do the best I can for all of my students.  That's really all we as educators can do, so here we go!

Why I don't agree with standardized testing as THE TOOL for evaluation.

Today was a first for me.

Not that I did anything different in my morning routine, or that I did anything out of the ordinary when I got to my classroom.  The first was much more subtle and surprising.

I agreed with a news article from Texas regarding education.

What?  Is that possible?  How can it be?

No, really.  I have never before read an article about education out of Texas without feeling like it held a deeply flawed view, or perhaps was promoting some sort of twisted version of how school should be.

But today I read an article about Pearson and their stranglehold on the current educational climate in the US.  Not only that, but how they have gone out of their way to discredit those who find fault with their standardized testing products.  In particular, the article is about the efforts of Dr. Walter Stroup, and his testimony before the Texas State Legislature.

Here's the link to the article: http://www.texasobserver.org/walter-stroup-standardized-testing-pearson/.

If you'd like the summary, essentially it goes like this:  Pearson's tests are highly accurate, but not at measuring student learning or student growth.  Instead, the tests are highly accurate at measuring a student's ability to take a test.  And for this finding, Pearson has largely discredited a tenured UT professor and seems to be doing what they can to end his career.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, in that the current educational climate reflects a belief that what schools need is more testing, not more instruction of higher caliber.  I teach in a school system that had to conduct a system-wide infrastructure test that lasted roughly two weeks in January just to see if the computer resources in the county could handle the load from state testing.  In short, it worked, but just barely.  Students were kicked out of test sessions because of computer issues left and right.  Teachers had to scramble to keep things running.  Essentially the system only worked if enough people could frantically keep the plates spinning to avoid everything crashing down on them.

This took two weeks.  State testing will last another 3-4 weeks starting next month.  This means that the collective time spent just administering this test is growing.  To top it all off, this doesn't even touch the issue that many of the standards are flawed, or developmentally inappropriate, or just outright unrealistic.  Tell me why Kindergarteners are expected to know what had previously been taught in 1st grade.  Tell me why the term "Rigor" has come to mean "Difficult for the sake of difficulty."  Tell me at what point do teachers get to teach what they are supposed to teach.

In many ways, I count myself lucky.  I teach elementary music, which means that I do not have a standardized test to administer for my subject area.  In previous years this has led to an entirely ridiculous notion that in order to be taken seriously the arts must come up with some kind of test for ourselves.  Thankfully this year we have been allowed to use performance assessments based on rubrics and student performance of actual age-appropriate skills.

Hallelujah.

Is it too much to ask that educators be allowed to make educational policy?  And is it too much to ask that educators make that policy based on what is BEST for our students?  Best as in a truly appropriate educational decision is one that helps students learn, think, and grow?  I, for one, do not care what kind of money is in it for testing companies like Pearson.  Instead, I care for my students.  I care for my fellow educators.  I care for the families that see their children stressed out by high stakes testing at the ripe old age of eight.  Why should an eight year old child have to worry about performance on a standardized test?  How about instead they worry about learning the best approach to solving a math problem, or the type of reading they like best, or what instruments they want to learn to play, or how best to paint or draw, or what physical fitness really means.  How about they learn what happened at important moments in history, or where in Europe they can find Austria, or what kind of chemical mixture might cause an interesting reaction?

Who cares about standardized tests?

The companies that write them.

And the politicians who enforce them.

Hopefully those politicians can be shown the way of true education and meaningful learning and assessment before it's too late.

In the meantime, anybody want to make some music?

Merry Happy ChristmaHanuKwanzicaa! And a Teachers Pay Teachers sale. Hooray!

Last night I had the second of my two December concerts.  I say December because they are not generally holiday concerts as I do them, though I have been known to do the odd Chrstimas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa performance.  This was my 2nd and 3rd grade performance.  The kids did great, though things got a bit hairy a few times, as they are wont to do.  The best part was my third grade student with Autism, who had a fantastic time.  He spent a fair amount of time dancing around while we sang, but stayed within the realm of what was fine with me, and clearly enjoyed his experience very much.  That really made my night, seeing the joy on his face.

The downside of the night was definitely the parent who cornered me and wanted to know (because her son asked, or so she said - way to use your kid as an excuse) why we sang a Hanukkah song and no Christmas songs.  I explained to her (just as I had announced to the audience during the performance) that with yesterday being the beginning of Hanukkah (or maybe the 2nd day, I had conflicting dates on that one), it seemed very fitting to perform a Hanukkah song.  In addition, I talked about the cultural piece of the music curriculum and the other holidays that I incorporated into this time of year to give the students a broader view of holiday practices from around the world.  She didn't seem impressed, and pretty much implied that it made her angry.  It took a lot of self-control to not tell her where she could go with her Christmas-centric view of a December performance.  Now, don't get me wrong, I celebrate Christmas, and like to view it as intended, with it being a celebration of the birth of Christ, a focus on family time, and being together and enjoying the company of both family and friends.  I do not, however, for one moment believe that a concert in December has to be Christmas related.  Beyond that, I also reject the expectation that I do a concert based on a parent's view of what music I should do.  But that's another topic altogether.

So I am extremely thankful that my two December concerts are finished, I am pleased with how well the kids performed, and I am very much looking forward to Winter Break.  Those happen to be two of my three favorite words in all of the English language (the third being Summer).


Now the other purpose of this post - a sale!  I am going to be throwing a sale in my TeachersPayTeachers store from now until Christmas.  If you are a music teacher and want to buy yourself a little something, or know a music teacher who could use a little something, or are just interested in a little music education sort of activity, everything in my store is 20% off!  My store can be found at http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Nathan-Earley.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a Happy New Year!

Wow, that's a bit of a break....

Let me start off by apologizing to my followers - all both of you.  I did not intend to take such a long break from my blog, it just kind of happened.  So with that said, here's a quick summary of what I've had going on this school year:

- I started the year with a student intern named Grace, and she had some of the most original ideas for elementary music I've ever seen.  We did an activity with a loop pedal for her second observation and had the students create a loop-based composition using improvised body percussion and vocal sounds.

- I have students who are struggling like never before to play brass instruments.  Two trombones and a trumpet, all three who started at the same time; one of the trombones plays everything too low, the other trombone and trumpet play everything too high.  It's making for a bit of a beginning band struggle.

- I was observed by my principal doing concert prep.  Very strange.  We dissected the form of one of their concert pieces which made for a very useful lesson, but I'm a little concerned it cost me some valuable time that could have been spent on performing and rehearsing.  The neat thing is that I  think I did the best lesson on form that I have ever done, and I will absolutely use it as a touchstone throughout the year.  (Also pretty awesome is that the write-up for my observation was overwhelmingly positive - we'll see how that comes up in the post-observation conference.)

- I have second grade students working on rhythmic fluency using pool noodle notes as well as a worksheet I created.  They are using the noodles to work out rhythms in three dimensions and getting used to drawing notes on the paper, which is a pairing of ideas I got from Tracy King over at Mrs. King Rocks.  If you haven't already, go check out her blog and then her Teachers Pay Teachers store, they're both pretty fantastic.

- First grade and Kindergarten have been working on found sounds, body percussion, and enhancing stories with sound effects and music.  This is especially great around this time of year as I have found many great Halloween-related activities.  As a side note, I have no students at my school with any kind of religious or cultural barriers to celebrating the various holidays throughout the year; I cannot begin to tell you how much easier that makes my job.

My beginning band and strings groups are making progress, painful though it is to listen to at times.  My choir is off to a good start, though I suspect I could be pushing them a little harder.  We have honor chorus starting this week, which I am really looking forward to (aside from fighting traffic to make it to the rehearsals on time).  In about 2 1/2 weeks we have our fourth and fifth grade concert, which should be interesting.  Here's to hoping we pull it off in time!

So that's what's going on in my world, how about yours?

And now for something completely different...

Good morning, internet!

So usually I tend to write about things like classroom setup, goofy things kids have done, projects in the classroom, ideas I've had, and things I am working on.

Today we're going to talk about something that is just a little outside of that norm.

Food.

Yes, food.

I promise this is teaching related.

No, really - it's teaching related.

On April 21st, my girlfriend and I decided to start a program called Whole 30.  Recently the creators of the Whole 30 program have been on TV and radio, as well as featured on blogs and on their own website, as well as in several books.

This came from a suggestion from my girlfriend who sent me a text message to research the program.  Of course, being the obliging boyfriend that I am, I immediately Googled what this was all about.  And promptly dismissed it as ridiculous, too hard, too exclusive, and reeking of some Hippie/Vegan/Earth Child nonsense (and that, dear readers, is how to alienate and irritate multiple groups of people all at once!).

A week later, she brought it up again, and said that a coworker of hers was actually about halfway through and couldn't believe how well it was going.  I essentially decided that I could do it, but would have to do the reading and studying and preparing necessary first, so I promptly bought a Kindle edition of "It Starts With Food."  Before the end of the first chapter or two I was sold.


The entire idea behind the program is that you are eating too much of everything that is bad for you, and that includes some things that you think are healthy.  The bulk of the program revolves around a simple idea: eat nothing but whole food - lean protein, vegetables, fruits, and good fats - for thirty days.  You must exclude all added sweeteners (including honey and agave, especially including artificial sweeteners like aspartame), all grains and pseudo-grains (sorry, no quinoa!), all dairy with the exception of clarified butter and ghee (they give you instructions on how to make your own), white potatoes, alcohol, soy, and legumes.

Now just hold on there one cotton pickin' minute.  Soy?  That's what the health nuts eat!  Legumes??? Those have important nutrients!  No grains at all?  Meh... Dairy?  Isn't milk supposed to do a body good?  Just what kind of tree-hugger crap is this?

Where's the tofu, man?

Actually, those are just about the exact thoughts that went through my mind upon reading the basic tenets of the program.  The funny thing is, after 3 weeks of doing this program, I don't really miss those food items.  Sure, there are a lot of things I can't have right now, and lots of things I may never really eat again (especially in any kind of quantity), but it's absolutely worth it.  There is nothing nutrition-wise in any of those things that you can't get from eating the right food.  Even better, if you are careful about selecting produce that has been grown without the use of chemicals and meat that has been pastured/free-ranged/grass-fed, you're eating far cleaner anyway.  I had started to buy into the idea that maybe pesticides and fertilizers and herbicides and whatnot weren't really something I wanted in my food stream, but hadn't done much of anything about it.  It's expensive.  But since I've begun doing research (some through the internet, some just using the old taste bud approach), I'm coming to find that it is frequently worth it.

As a side note, one of the guiding rules is not to step on the scale for the entire 30 days.

I'll tell you right now that I've broken that rule.  In my defense, my girlfriend started it.

But what's more - in three weeks I've lost 11 pounds without doing a darn thing outside of my normal routine (aside from cooking more).

I have more energy, I don't usually find myself sagging mid-afternoon, I feel better overall, and the 11 pounds I lost came straight off my stomach where I was carrying around all of the adult beverages I have consumed directly or indirectly as a result of being a teacher.  Even better, I've found myself to be less irritable and more patient in general, which was becoming a real problem.  I've always been one of the most patient, laid-back people I knew.  Until about a year ago.  I suddenly realized that I was getting irked or frustrated or downright angry about stupid things that never bothered me in the past.  Having changed my diet, I have definitely noticed a return to how things were.  I know that the folks around me had to have noticed as well.

Now here is the connection to teaching:

I TEACH BETTER WHEN I AM NOT FEELING CRAPPY!

I have had more energy to do things in the classroom this past three weeks. I have had more good ideas flowing this past three weeks.  I have felt more like I am being a positive influence.  I have had more patience.  I am better able to deal with student behaviors and troubles.  Overall I am a much better, more effective teacher, all because I am not fighting with myself to get through the day so I can go crash at home.

I look around the building and see teachers eating leftover pizza, frozen meals that are full of sodium and preservatives, tons of bread and cookies and muffins, and all kinds of things that I'm not allowing myself to have.  And to be honest, I think I can say without a doubt that I feel physically better than anyone else in my building.  And for once, that's not just because I am 15 years younger than the average!  One of the other specialists in my building has been complaining of digestive tract distress for a year now.  Go figure, it all seems to have started when she moved out of her parents house, had no one else to cook for her, and started eating prepackaged everything.  Essentially she has salt-cured herself and loaded herself down with every preservative used in today's prepared meal industry.  I (and another teacher) have tried to show her how much better she could feel with a change in diet, but she is determined it's too much work.

Yes, it is a lot of work to cook for yourself.

But are you an adult or a helpless baby?

I know for a fact that I spend an extra 4-5 hours per week in the kitchen compared to what I did a month ago.  Some weeks it's more like an extra 10 hours.  And this is on top of working 3 jobs.  It's a lot of work.  But since I don't have ridiculous exercise requirements on top of all that cooking, I'm okay with it.

The best part is that I get to eat literally as much as I want.

Let me repeat that:

I GET TO EAT AS MUCH AS I WANT!

Now, that doesn't mean I get to gorge on whatever I'm eating and go until I can't possibly take another bite.  Instead, it means that if I want a few more sweet potato fries, I have no reason not to.  If I want a big plate of leafy vegetables, peppers, carrots, and pork chops I can have it.  I'm even encouraged to cook with lard and tallow!  I haven't yet - still trying to win the girlfriend over on that one - but if I had it, I could use it!  I've been making sweet potato hash and fried eggs frequently for breakfast, and eating an entire plate full.  And in case you've forgotten, I've LOST WEIGHT doing it!

Pictured: Deliciousness.  Also, weight loss.

Another side note - I actually really like another one of the guiding principles behind this program.  There are no cheat days.  In their book, Dallas and Melissa Hartwig actually specifically say that the only "slip" is if you were to physically fall face first into an open box of donuts with your mouth open.  And no, that doesn't mean you can add open boxes of donuts to your home decor hoping to improve your chances.  For three weeks the only to "slips" I've had were for two (I think) good reasons.  First, the guy at Chipotle misunderstood and put hot salsa on my salad - it is made with chipotle Tabasco, which has sugar in minute quantities. No big deal, the rest of the meal was delicious, and I didn't feel any ill effects.  Second, I ran the Warrior Dash last weekend with my girlfriend, her son, and a friend of ours.  At the end I indulged myself with my celebratory free beer that was included in the cost of the race.  I felt like crap for about 24 hours.  No guilt, just consequences - I consumed something that had negative effects on my body, I dealt with those negative effects, and now I am back on track. (I'll admit, I am very disappointed - I love good beer.  I especially love semi-free celebratory beer after achieving something.  Sigh.)

So if you are looking for that next thing to improve your teaching, this is it.  If you find yourself reaching for another can of Diet Coke (what is it with teachers and Diet Coke???), this is better.

Pictured: the enemy

If you have an unhealthy relationship with food, this is the solution.  Overall, I don't think there is anything I could have done for professional development this year that would have had as significant an impact on my teaching as this has.  It's truly amazing what my change in diet has done for me personally and professionally.

Just as a reminder, I want to leave you with this thought - I refused to do this when I first read about it.  I'm a meat and potatoes and barbecue and beer guy.  Hardcore.  Ron Swanson is my spirit animal.  Even though I am coming from that sort of angle, I am completely sold on Whole 30 and have no intention of going back to my terrible food habits, even after my 30 days are up.  Will I reintroduce things that I haven't had for this whole time?  Yes.  I plan to indulge myself in some delicious ice cream the first day I'm done with the program.  However, I will eat it in a small quantity, and won't be surprised if I find it to be disgustingly sweet.

Sometimes them's the breaks.

Forgotten Instrument Records

I don't know about you, but a kid who forgets their instrument is the bane of my existence.  For some reason, printing out a monthly calendar that shows EVERY SINGLE DAY a kid will need their instrument isn't clear enough.  For some reason, having classes meet on the same days EVERY WEEK isn't regular enough.  For some reason, kids seem to think "I was in a rush." is a good reason to forget their instrument.

Ugh.

Incidentally, the worst part is when it's my private students who forget.  Because clearly you won't need the instrument that you are paying someone to tutor you individually on.  Sigh.

But I digress.

I have been trying to come up with a solution to this problem since day one of my teaching career.  I've written letters home, sent home form notes, sent home handwritten notes, sent emails, made phone calls, written student names on the board, included it as a comment in report cards, had face-to-face conversations with parents... You name it, I've probably tried it.  I even had kids copying out of the dictionary (regular and the Harvard Dictionary of Music).  Nothing seems to truly work.

So I am going to try something I just stumbled across.  The No Instrument Binder.  This is less a means of prevention (which I am still looking for) and more a means of tracking.  This was originally intended as a No Homework Binder, and the idea came from the blog "Teach - Bake - Love."  The original idea was to have each student write their name and the reason why they forgot their homework, and then put their homework in the binder.  This helps with organization, tracking student work, keeping up with grades, etc.  The only catch is that as a music teacher, I really don't assign "homework" per se.

So what I am going to try is to have kids write their name and the date in the binder, along with the reason why their instrument is not in class.  I think to start out I will allow students to write "I was in a rush." as their reason, but I suspect that once it becomes obvious how many of those lame excuses I get I will require a little more thought to go into it.  Hopefully this works better than my patented "Mr. Earley is disappointed and frustrated by your lack of responsibility" look that I give.  We'll see.  Check back for developments, I plan to create this over Spring Break and give it a limited run to the end of the school year.

The importance of making things interesting

I don't know about you, but I like things that are a little out of the ordinary.  Mind you, that doesn't mean I want everything to be weird or cantankerous or obscure (take that, hipsters!).  Instead, I just like things that work a little differently than is sometimes the norm.

For example: I have a penchant for barbecue.  Not just some meat in a restaurant slathered in sauce, but real, slow-cooked, smoky, well-seasoned meat that has been tended to over a bed of hot coals for many hours.  This is different than the norm these days in that people don't often like to spend hours in preparing a single food item.  But it is worth it in the end.  It's also nice to come in the house smelling like woodsmoke and meat, knowing that I have been playing with fire for the most delicious result imaginable.  Also, each time I make barbecue it's a little different.  No matter how hard I try, I can never perfectly replicate the previous result.

Smells like.... Victory!

Another example: My own personal style is... somewhat rustic, I suppose.  I like to wear things that are both comfortable and functional, but that look acceptable for their purpose.  This has resulted in showing up to Halloween parties dressed as a lumberjack or some other outdoors enthusiast and having people ask why I wasn't wearing a costume.  But I digress.

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.

Part of the attraction of these things, to me, is that they are interesting in some way.  They are interesting partly because they are different.  Not what you would expect.  Not what you see every day.

"But how," you may be asking, "does this relate to teaching?"

The answer is quite simple.  Things that are out of the ordinary - striking, different, novel, however you want to say it - attract more attention in the learning process.  Our brains are wired to accept new input, categorize it, file it away for later retrieval, and expend minimal effort in recognizing it in the future.  Have you ever walked past a painting on the wall so many times you forgot it was there - only to realize some time later that it had been replaced with something else?  This is just part of how the human mind works.  We don't want to spend a lot of energy or effort on noticing the same things over and over again.  This helps us cope with the incredible amount of stimuli that exist as part of our every day lives.  We would be quite overwhelmed if we took notice of every single speck of everything that we encounter regularly.  There's just too much.

"But how," you may be asking, "does this relate to music education?"

Again, quite simple.  One of the most difficult things to teach students is to make things interesting and novel even when they are practicing the most mundane, uninteresting, boring aspects of music.  It's why I have as many different acronyms for teaching lines and spaces of the staff as I possibly can remember.  It's why I like to ask students to tell me what they think after something goes horribly wrong - or wonderfully right.  It's why sometimes a band director will switch around seating and do something ridiculous - like putting the trumpets in the front row. (Another great Tone Deaf Comics moment!)

When things are different, we pay attention to them differently.  Our brains are always (ok, usually) more responsive to new things than they are to things that are well-worn and habitual.  Music teachers (and teachers in general) take advantage of this frequently, if for no better reason than to keep their students from griping about being bored (side note - I couldn't tell you the last time I had the luxury of being bored.  Seems like there is always something that must be done.  Must be one more curse of growing up.).

I would like to share with you the revelation I had about a week ago (actually, I had it several years ago but forgot until just last week).  When you practice on your own, do you use a metronome?  If you teach music, do you use a metronome in class or in lessons?  Personally, I can't imagine life without a metronome.  It's as fundamental to music as sound itself.  The division of time into perfectly regularly spaced pulses is not something that comes easily to many of us.  We need something to keep us on target, and something to get irritated with when we are playing in perfect time and that infernal machine is OBVIOUSLY SPEEDING UP. (John Bogenschutz sums it up perfectly in his Tone Deaf Comics found here.)

So what do you do to teach kids that a metronome is so important?  "But Mr. Earley," I can hear my students saying, "it's just an annoying noise that won't stop and gets boring (there's that word again!!!)."

Hmmm... They may have a point there.  The sound of a metronome does become rather monotonous after a while, and if you're not focused on keeping 100% with the metronome pulse it can become white noise and ignored rather quickly.

A view of the metronome being ignored.
Also, how it feels when your foot falls asleep.

One approach I have tried with a general music class is to play some sort of percussion instrument.  Conga, Bongos, Djembe, drum set, you name it, I've tried it.  This usually leads to kids complaining that they want to try it.  Or worse, ignoring it just like the metronome.  The most reliable of these has always been the drum set, but there are two fundamental problems with it. First, I am not a terribly gifted drum set player.  Second, it only works if I am behind it, and this keeps me from being able to move around the room.  What good is a means of keeping tempo if I can't actively adjust/fix things?

If I can't get out of here, I might as well get comfortable...

Hmmm... So what I need is something that works more or less like the drum set, can keep a perfectly steady tempo, is interesting to listen to, and lets me move around as needed....

Bingo. (Cue novel approach fanfare!)

What I have found is that by using audio software and a loop library, I can metronome the heck out of anything, yet still make it fresh and interesting for the students.  Heck, it makes it more enjoyable for me, too!  I use Acoustica Mixcraft (because I am not an Apple fanboy), which is essentially the Windows equivalent of GarageBand (what I would use if I were an Apple fanboy).  This is a fairly straightfoward digital audio workstation (DAW) that includes, among other things, a fairly impressive loop library.  By searching for a drum groove, I found one that I liked - it's straightforward, only slightly syncopated, clear enough to follow, and outlines two measures.  I took that and expanded it to three minutes in length.  Then I added a chime sound (which sounds suspiciously like something from Super Mario Brothers) to indicate when each minute passes.  For kicks, I added a short chime riff to the end to indicate that time was up (I may go back and make this the "game over" sound from Mario - we'll see...).  I can now use this to not only keep my groups on track with tempo, but also to manage my own time in the classroom.

What I love about this approach is that it is interesting and novel enough on its own that as soon as I start the track, I can see the kids wiggling and moving to the beat in their seats.  No instruction needed, just pure interest.

The next step was to expand the track so I could have one that was 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes, and 10 minutes in length.  This way I don't have to just play a recording on endless loop - I can pick whichever length fits the activity and time remaining.  Furthermore, it is versatile enough to use for an extremely wide variety of activities.  I have used it with second grade playing mallet and rhythm instruments, first grade and kindergarten playing Boomwhackers , even the older students in band and strings when doing exercises and scales.  What's more is that if we get to where this particular track gets stale or loses its novelty, I can go back to Mixcraft and make a new one that sounds completely different with minimal effort.

Now, I understand that not everyone is in love with loops and creating audio tools the way that I am.  If you'd like, you can visit my Teachers Pay Teachers store and pick up the audio tracks I created, either individually or as a bundle of all four lengths.  The length is the only difference between them. They are done as mp3 files, so you don't need to worry about having a particular piece of software to make them work.  If you use them, please feel free to leave a comment here and/or a comment on TpT.

I plan to keep making things like these rhythm tracks to keep everything as novel and interesting as I can.  I also would love to hear from you - what do you do to keep things interesting in the classroom?  Do you have a particular approach/trick/product that you use?  Do you have a particular group/student that needs more novelty than you can keep up with?  I welcome your comments below!

Snoooooow!

This will be a fairly short post. I think.

I live in Southern Maryland. Like much of the Northeast, we have been hit with quite a bit of snow for our area. Our superintendent of schools has applied for a waiver from the state for 5 of the snow days we used past the 5 that were already built into the calendar. We are now up to a grand total of 12 snow days this year in an area that usually only uses 1 or 2, and those are frequently for hurricane-related weather rather than actual snow.

Usually I will be pleased to see the snow, appreciative of its beauty,of the stillness that comes with the soft flakes blanketing everything. I don't lie to disturb the snow with footprints or shovel make until I absolutely have to.

This year, I am officially on the I hate snow bandwagon.

All I want is to be able to teach and have fun with my students, play good music, and be out of school before the 4th of July. With each falling flake that looks less and less likely.

ARGH!!!!!!!

They didn't train me for this... OR "Stand back, I'm a professional! "

A few days ago, I had a meeting at school. Nothing major, just a quick meeting as a reference for a friend. At the end of the meeting I was walking the gentleman I met with back to the office, which involves going out of my mobile mansion, down a ramp and into the school building. Total outside time is something like 10 seconds. In that 10 seconds, I noticed two things. First, there were a lot of screaming children in the playground. Not out of the ordinary. Second, and much more incongruous, there was a dog running around. Just an average sized beagle, not some hulking mastiff or anything like that, just a moderate sized dog. Curious - dogs are not generally on school grounds until after school when a neighbor woman likes to bring her dogs to run around and leave little "presents" for the kids to step in. I went in to the building, informed the custodial staff that there was a dog outside, then did the same with the office.
As it turns out, my principal is deathly afraid of dogs, and was not about to go confront her fear. The secretaries decided the best course of action was animal control, a decision that took about 2 minutes longer to reach than it probably should have. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that in the brief look I got at the dog, it did not appear to be sick or injured, just lost. Perhaps I could coax it over and get a look at its tags. So outside I went.
After a couple minutes of walking around the playground in pursuit of this poor dog, the kids finally are ushered inside and I was left out there alone in relative peace with the dog. He finally dared to come close enough for a few sniffs, I checked his collar and found no tags. Go figure, who would want their dog to be returned to them? Unfortunately, he got away from me before I could get a good grip on his collar, so I was unable to hang on to him for animal control. He trotted off across the road and disappeared between some houses. Animal control finally got there something like an hour later, I talked to the animal warden (apparently that's their preferred title? News to me.) briefly and received an admonishment to not get bitten among other things.
Now, I am a pet sitter on the side. I have worked on a farm, I have had several dogs and cats as pets, and I like to think that I have a decent helping of common sense. If anything had appeared out of the ordinary about the dog I would have stayed away. But it was very friendly, not the least bit aggressive, and clearly not rabid or anything like that. I like to think that I used my professional pet sitter skills to know if the dog was okay.

The point of this rambling diatribe (that has taken way too long to write) is that there are lots of things you find yourself doing as a teacher that nobody ever mentioned in college.  For instance - we learned about dealing with hostile parents, administrators, colleagues; we learned many educational and developmental philosophies and theories; we learned about instruments and music and dealing with bathroom breaks in Kindergarten (hint - don't say anything that sounds like bathroom.  It's like yawning.  It's contagious.); we even learned about how important it is to have the custodial and secretarial folks on your side.

Nowhere did I have the opportunity to sign up for "Dogcatching 101." 

Granted, I love dogs.  I love animals in general.  I actually really enjoyed dealing with this dog.  I have even had to capture him now 5 separate times since this article was first undertaken (his name is Buddy and he loves to play with the kids at recess).

What I am really getting at is that these are the moments that I think can really make or break the job of teaching.  Job descriptions call this "Other Duties As Assigned."  The intentional vagueness can leave open an absurdly broad realm of possibilities. Sometimes they're as fun as romping with Buddy the dog.  Other times it means moving furniture, dealing with paperwork, unexpected meetings, conferences, etc.  Some days are nothing but Other Duties As Assigned.  Some days you see neither hide nor hair of anything out of the ordinary (let's face it, those days don't happen very often).

As much as I don't enjoy having to stop what I'm doing or spend what little unscheduled time I have to chase a dog that is surrounded by a screaming group of children, I can't imagine a job where I knew what every moment was going to hold before it happened.  One of the greatest things about teaching is that each day is new.  Even when you have all of your lessons planned down to a tee, little things will happen that are completely unexpected.  Some good, some bad, but none of them can really be anticipated (beyond the simple fact of their existence).

I don't know about you, but I'll take Buddy the dog over a cubicle and TPS reports any day.

Product reviews and thoughts

Happy Daylight Savings Time!  Or, as many of my teacher friends think of it - "That day when we lose an hour of sleep and go back to leaving for work in the dark for several more weeks." Daylight Savings has a bit of a nicer ring to it...

One of the things I have learned through my years of teaching so far is that often I have need for particular products that I do not yet have first hand knowledge of.  This means that I am forced to either buy things sight unseen or trust the reviewers on Amazon.  Frequently a product will have hundreds of reviews, but to find the ones that seem like they are done by a person with appropriate qualifications can often be a daunting (or impossible) task.  My hope is that by reviewing music-education-related products on here, I might help guide folks to beneficial products (or steer away from not beneficial ones).  I also have opened an affiliates account with Amazon.com that will provide a small compensation for products purchased through the links I provide.  That said, please know that I will not be receiving compensation directly from manufacturers, so I am free to review any products I see fit, and I will always give you my 100% honest opinion.  Especially if it turns out to be a lemon.  There is nothing that I hate more than reading gushing, glowing reviews on something only to purchase it and find out it is in fact garbage.

So, you might find yourself asking, what exactly are you reviewing?

Well, I intend to cover as broad a spectrum of music ed related items as possible, ranging from curriculum materials to pieces of music to instruments and accessories to classroom equipment and anything else not included in that list (which is completely devoid of commas).

For starters, I am going to pick a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

Trombone slide treatments.

Some of you may know that the trombone is my main instrument.  I have been playing now for 20 years now, and still love the trombone the most.  However, as it is an instrument that is often poorly understood, I have several axes to grind as to the day to day maintenance of the instrument.

First and foremost is slide maintenance.  Most music teachers, and band directors in particular, are not trombonists.  This is understandable, in that most music teachers are nowhere near cool enough or laid back enough to truly understand and master the demands of an instrument that requires more discipline and humility than those that require pressing buttons.  Ok, keys, but still.

The trombone slide is a surprisingly fragile object that requires a good deal of care.  The inner tubes must be straight and perfectly parallel to ensure smooth operation.  The outer tubes must be straight, parallel, and dent-free.  Given that the thickness of the tubing is fairly thin, and that brass is relatively soft, this is often far more difficult than you would think.

Assuming the above conditions are met, the one missing ingredient is slide lubrication.  This has come a long way over the years, with treatments ranging from "You put stuff on it?" to "Lemon Pledge.  But only the kind in the aerosol can, not the pump spray." to "Ponds Cold Cream and water." to far more boutique (and actually instrument-oriented) solutions such as slide cream and valve oil.

Regardless of your product of choice, please know that step one in having a smooth, trouble-free slide is that you start with a clean slide.  Wiping down the inner slide with a clean, lint-free rag will do wonders.  Make sure you are using gentle but firm pressure and wipe the entire length of the tubing.  If you have allowed gunk to build up, a little warm water can be all the cleaning solution needed.  If you have more gunk than warm water will cure, use a damp rag, a TINY amount of Ajax/Comet (something that is powdered but NON-ABRASIVE) and more gentle but firm pressure.  If you see scratches being left by your cleaner, it's the wrong stuff and is damaging your slide.  I only do this when absolutely unable to remove crud any other way.

The second part of cleaning your slide is removing any gunk from the inside of the outer slide.  There are two ways to do this, though both are very similar.

The first is to get a standard trombone cleaning rod like this:




This is just a metal rod that has a flattened eyelet on one end and a ring on the other, sized to fit all the way down one side of the slide tubing. You put a piece of cheesecloth through the eyelet, poked far enough through to keep it from coming out, then wrap the length of the cheesecloth around the length of the rod.  What you end up with looks like a giant mummified Q-tip, with the end slightly larger than the rest.  It must be wrapped such that the leading 5-6 inches makes solid contact with the interior of the tubing all the way around, but not so much you really have to force it.  Make sure you hold the same tubing that you are cleaning, otherwise the force will bend it.  And that is bad.  Swab the tubing until it feels warm (friction is a wonderful thing in this case), then switch to the other tubing and do the same.  Re-wrap the cheesecloth if necessary.  Once the cloth comes out looking fairly clean (the first time you do this you might actually go through several sections of cloth, especially if you have done a lot of playing and not cleaned the slide before), you can put the cleaning rod away.

Now the fun part.

There are three products I recommend for use on slides.  The first is Slide-O-Mix .  This stuff is what got me thinking (way too much) about slide lubrication. It comes in two bottles, one large and one small, and contains a lubricant, a protectant, and a cleaner.  You put a small drop from the small bottle on the bottom of each inner slide, then work the outer slide back and forth over it.  You then put a larger drop or two from the larger bottle on each inner slide and work that back and forth.  You have the option of using a water spray bottle, sometimes that makes things even smoother, other times it may not make a difference.  This stuff will do wonders for most slides.  The only problem I have had with it is a few times I have had the liquid in the large bottle get a little gloppy.  Nothing that seemed to truly prevent the liquid from working, but getting small cheese-like chunks from a bottle of liquid can be unsettling.  Also, having the two bottles plus a sprayer can be kind of a pain.

This brings me to the next option, also from Slide-O-Mix.  It's called Rapid Comfort, and is essentially the contents of the two bottles combined into one.  It works exactly the same way the original does, but in a single step.  I have not run into the cheese problem with this stuff, but I also have not used it as heavily as the original.

The third option, and the one that I use is called "Super Slide " by Reka. It's manufactured in Germany, so it costs a little more, but is absolutely worth the extra money.  I do not know what the true difference is between this and Rapid Comfort, they are applied pretty much the same (minus the water - I rarely need it).  The biggest difference is in how much it takes and how long it lasts.  I can apply about half as much Super Slide as I would Slide-O-Mix and it lasts probably 4-5 times longer.  This is fabulous, since the bottle itself is smaller.  In the end I would imagine the cost works out to being less for the Super Slide since I have to buy it far less frequently than I did the Slide-O-Mix.  I bought a bottle of Super Slide at the Eastern Trombone Workshop when I was in college that lasted me nearly 3 years.  I have a bottle that I bought not long after I started teaching that I just used the last of a few weeks ago (5 years out of one bottle!).  I cannot begin to describe just how smooth this stuff makes my slide.  One of my favorite things to do as a teacher is to offer to clean the slides of students who have been putting whatever on their slide.  Three minutes of cleaning and a couple drops of liquid later and they almost always panic due to nearly dropping their now-super-slick slide.  I have made converts of all of my private trombone students and gotten them turned onto this stuff.  It's wonderful, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Now, you may have noticed I have not addressed slide creams or oils.  I hate them both, and for different reasons.

Slide oil is really just valve oil with a different label.  It's thin and runny and smells terrible.  Just ask anyone who has used it and they can talk about the smell that gets on your hands and clothes no matter what you do.  On top of that, it is petroleum-based and can actually cause corrosion.  Or, in layman's terms, it will eat your slide (which you may note is the exact OPPOSITE of what you want).  Unfortunately many students like to use it because it is quick and convenient and doesn't build up.  These students are lazy and need to be shown the proper way of doing things.

Slide cream can be fantastic.  However, it is thick and creamy, and builds up extremely quickly.  The amount of slide cream required to treat an entire slide is so infinitesimally small that most students overdo it without meaning to.  Once there is too much on the slide, you have to clean it off and start over.  Too much is actually worse than not enough.  The purpose of the cream is to make a fine layer of oily stuff on the slide which causes water to bead up.  When you finish applying the cream, you have to spray it with water (not optional).  The droplets of water are then acting like ball bearings to minimize the friction of the slide.  This only works under ideal conditions.  Use too much cream and it's like spreading peanut butter with a knife blade (the sharp part, not the wide part).  Just no good.  You might remember I mentioned cold cream.  It's essentially the same stuff as actual slide cream, and might even smell better.  This method has been causing grief to trombonists for decades, as they are often harassed and questioned as to why they are in the makeup aisles.

So as far as actual slide treatments go, please stick to one of the three I mentioned. They are the best I have found, and cause the least amount of grief.  Here they are again:





Side note: I just noticed that Slide-O-Mix is also manufactured in Germany. I still don't know what the difference is between it and Super Slide, but the Super Slide is definitely worth the difference in price.

Also, another handy item to have is a cleaning snake - do this BEFORE using the cheesecloth for best results.  Here are two options:




I hope this has been a useful and informative review.  I don't know that my reviews will always be quite like this, but time will tell.  If you have experience with any of these products, please feel free to leave a comment.  However, if you are one of those people who worships at the altar of Trombotine, I don't want to hear it! :)